Conflict

Conflict Styles and Leadership Styles Self-Assessments Worksheet

With respect to conflict styles, what were your scores for each of the five conflict styles dimensions -(Accommodating, Compromising, Integrating, Avoiding, and Dominating)? Do you agree with this assessment?  Why or why not?

Your Answer:

Accommodation  4.5

Compromising           4.71

Integrating                  6.8

Avoiding                     2.3

Dominating               1.6

I totally agree I just took a similar inventory in my project management class. The areas I scored the highest were Collaborating and Compromising. This has been my wheelhouse for most of my life. I work to find solutions, I try to make sure I understand the goals of all parties, what they want to gain and what they need I learned early on to parable of the orange. I know to ask questions one of my favorite questions is in addition to: Desire One is there anything else you would want or need? The next statement I lead with is: Let me make sure I understand that I we can accomplish.

Based on your own life experiences, provide some examples of the use of each of these five conflict styles (either using the styles yourself or as employed by someone else in a conflict situation).

Accommodating:

This style is just the opposite of dominating. It works well if you are partnered with a dominating person but giving up all the time can eventually drive you to consider an assassination attempt. I never did well with this style, and I think as a young man I lacked self confidence and used this style a lot but as I grew and gained confidence, I saw this was not a good choice for me. I worked with my kids to make sure they avoided this as well. My wife used this style when we first met, and I soon realized she was doing things that she did not enjoy. On the other hand, this style did make her try things she would never have done otherwise. This would be an advantage to this style.

Compromising:

I think this is the most used style do to the fact that on its surface it seams to be a win, win but some times it is a loss for both parties the orange example it the lesson is a good example both parties wanted the orange they split it but both parties only got half when they both could have received exactly what each one wanted.

I learned to use a technique with my kids that worked well for this one. When my kids would want something, I would agree but give them choices. For example, they would ask for candy sometimes at the checkout. I would then give them a choice, for example they would ask for candy. I knew that it would take a long time for them to choose. Also, I knew my wife would be upset depending on the time of day. So, my response was usually, “okay snickers or mm’s” or Ticktacks or Life Savers”

Integrating:

This is the style I enjoy, and I feel is the best for solving issues. Learning what it takes to get things done in a win, win. This style means asking a lot of questions and taking the time to figure out a solution. This to me involves the most work and thought in the front then thinking about a solution that meets the needs of everyone Involved. This does not always work so incorporation of the accommodating and compromise styles can be introduced to the project.

I find in my life that sometimes I hear the phrase well that’s how we always do it. I must bite my tongue to keep from saying so how is that working out for you when I know they are having issues and that is why I am there.

Avoiding:

Although this is the easy way to handle life’s issues, it is a way that never gets much done and to get things done usually requires you to do it yourself. In my life the projects are never started or finished I find a common goal with my coworker and family gets more done and is a lot more enjoyable.

Dominating:

Generals and Dictators look like they have the world by the tail but being told to do something because I said so can cause issues and get you shot. I never had much luck in dealing with my kids using because I said so line.

Discuss one thing that works pretty well about your preferred conflict style; in other words, what is one advantage for you about it?  Discuss one disadvantage you’ve found in using your preferred conflict style.  Finally, what is one specific way you could improve your general approach to conflict?

This is my everyday life as a salesperson. I work to find solutions to problems or concerns. Once I identify the issue, I look for solutions and present opportunities to solve the issues or concerns then negotiate the terms to solve the issue and concern in a way that is best and most affordable for the parties involved. I listened to Brian Tracy speak once and he told a story about giving away $100 dollars. He then asked if anyone would be willing to fly to New York from Kansas City to get it. No one was interested. Then he stated that $100 included a two-night stay at the best hotel in New York, a personal dinner with him and tickets to the top Broadway show after dinner. The hands went up. The moral was to find what makes a deal worth doing for all the parties involved.

The disadvantage is getting to the real issue sometimes is not easy.

Listening better Is the one specific place I could improve my general approach to conflict.

According to the leadership style self-assessment, what was your Hersey-Blanchard leadership style (Telling, Selling, Participating, Delegating)?  Do you agree with this assessment?  Why or why not?

100% Selling I agree with this assessment. As I have grown and learned about life this direction has taken me far with my life’s goals and plans. I think it was a learned style and I am continually learning and developing the style. I don’t like to “Tell” I am getting better at delegating, and I am learning that participating is not always bad you can enjoy the benefits of others more this way.

Provide examples from your own life where you experienced each of the leadership style-­related behaviors (telling, selling, participating, and delegating).

As a fire Captain I used the Tell style more often. We did not have time to form a committee and vote most times. I had the trust and respect for my team to follow me. This style would be the best in military and emergency situations.

Selling was a thing I enjoyed. I like negotiations and the challenge of solving problems. In my current role I work to find solutions to problems. Now understand the problems I work to solve are repeatable and common. This is the path of most sales companies. 

Participating is the style I am moving to watching other and enjoying the ride. I am looking forward to this. I am finding I enjoy seeing what others can do and let them find a plan and I enjoy the success of their work.

Delegating Is another style I and developing as well as a manager I am teaching others and learning to let others try and see what happens. I have a sales person I have placed I placed in charged of marketing it fits her better than calling on customers and benefits me and the company more.

Review the information regarding Tuckman’s Stages of Team Development model.  Contrast Hersey-Blanchard leadership style with the various stages of team development. Do you see a connection? Discuss team leadership behaviors that you think would be applicable to each of Tuckman’s stages of team development.

I am probably going to get a zero on this one. Tuckman’s Stage to me is as clear cut as it seems. I see connections to Hersey-Blanchard’s but this scream’s telling, and dictator to me. While I am sure he is a lot smarter than I am, I found the method confusing and hard to understand. Hersey-Blanchard leads you to the water and allows you to get there on your own. Hersey-Blanchard takes you on the path and allows self-reflection. Were as Tuckman is shot gunning and hoping something drops. To me it requires a lot more thinking and analyzing. Now knowing we do not all process the same and that there are different learning styles this may elicit results from others with success. The team leadership behaviors that I think would be applicable to the stages would be all of them the similarities of forming and storming to telling and selling are very similar Norming and forming are the cooling down section and putting the rubber to the road. I feel Tuckman is more in line with a project management direction than leadership training/discussion.

With respect to the LMX instrument, what were your scores on each of the dimensions (Linking, Loyalty, Contribution, Professional Respect)?  Based on these results, what transformational leadership behaviors do you exhibit (or have you experienced in a leader/follower relationship) that you believe are most relevant with respect to someone who seeks to be an effective transformational leader?

Well, having scored 9’s on all sections I must be a sheep. I have learned to play well with others, and gray hair helps you to relax when dealing with life. I have found in my career and in life I am a contributor, I am loyal and if I don’t like it I leave it. I take jobs on the fit. Also, as my hair has grayed the number of supervisors have gone the way of a bald man fewer and fewer above me.